motus et bouche cousue

I’m SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic
I’m EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I’m BLACK so I MUST carry a gun.
I’m BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I’m JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I’m HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I’m ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I’m JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I’m GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I’m a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I’m ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I’m a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I’m RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I’m ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don’t have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I’m REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I’m DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I’m SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I’m a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I’m a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I’m a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I’m a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I’m RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.
I’m a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I’m CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I’m NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I’m a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I’m POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I’m ITALIAN, so I must have a “big one”.
I’m EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I HAVE STRAIGHT A’S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I’m INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be AM a homosexual.
I’m a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I’m COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be A GAY TOO.
I’m BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I’m PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I’m a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I’m BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I’m a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I’m SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I’m a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I’m a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I’m ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I’m CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I’m MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I’m WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I’m black.
I’m GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I’m HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I’m NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I’m PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don’t wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I’m on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I’m YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I’m MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I’m PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don’t like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don’t.
I don’t like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I’m an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I’m INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I’m WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a kilt.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every Man on the earth.
I’m a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I’m an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I’m ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and Cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: Past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I’m CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I’m SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I’m STRONG, so I MUST be stupid.
I’m Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be or AM Lesbian.
I’m NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can’t help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I’m a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist
I’m a PACIFIST so I MUST be a peace-loving Hippy thing.
I’m a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.